not yet

a part of Him that makes my
mouth water uncontrollably before i even
knew what that gnawing was. freshly
sixteen, sneaking off for a gleeful august
day spent on his twin bed. eyes
hungrily wide and my mouth a
round his burgeoning, warm shaft felt
natural— making me clench my legs
to feel that throb. his gruff moans sneaking
out as i bob my head up and
down, call and response as i muffle
my own with Him. (our friends just down
stairs.) hitting the back of
my throat with fretful fistfuls of my
sun-in striped hair as
he closes his eyes, longing for
more. deeper. hit the back and make
me catch myself, teary eyed yet

now in another lifetime, i sneak a glance
and catch His green eyes roll
clean back as i
take as much of him as
i can, smiling. he sees it, moving my curtain
of blonde hair to the side.
a considerate man places a pillow
down so i know just how
he plans to ruin me. i ponder
fingering my
self but i don’t want to distract
from my smoky-eyed focus. but,
an intrusive thought—
that familiar, slight panic as He
chokes me, feral and gasping. i flood
as my eyes cross. he firmly makes me
savour Him, leaking and sweet. never
relenting but moaning ragged.
pulling pushing thrusting growling.


professional hands won’t leave
my head or hair as i work to get him
soaked. electric adrenaline takes charge all
over my body, the pillow beneath
my knees damp. warmth consumes me
with every thick inch disappearing. in my
wet palm, i feel his balls ever so slightly

“not yet”, i wink.


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