i’m afraid i’ll forget your voice but
it lives on in rerun criticisms and old mobile
phone mailboxes. home video from before
it all went to hell and i grew into
someone you could not grasp.

those 24 years we shared were Far
from perfect but
they were ours. you loved me
but did not always like me, something
we have in common. we share
expressions and attitudes, though i
am softer. i wish you
had been softer to me. maybe i would
not be so insular, would not have
hurt people
as often.

you built walls with skill as i do,
emotions held
furtively close to the
chest. my walls will never be as high,
by design. a promise i made to my
self, age fourteen. who knew you would be
gone in a short decade.

i wonder where you are, now.